HELP! My toddler keeps throwing their food on the floor
Does your toddler just seem to *love* throwing their food during mealtimes….. on the floor, on the wall, to the dog, etc?! We have been dealing with this with J for what seems like forever, and let me tell you….. it can be SO frustrating.
If you are in the thick of this phase, I feel you. Let’s dive a little deeper into why it happens and how you can respond to (hopefully) help this behavior improve, rather than worse, over time.
Throwing food in the early toddler years is so incredibly common. Did you know that it is actually a normal part of toddler brain development? Yep, it’s true!
Here are a few things they are learning when they throw their food:
Your toddler is learning and practicing the physical act of throwing.
Your toddler is experimenting with gravity.
Your toddler is learning about cause-and-effect.
Your toddler is testing boundaries (this one is key!) - “What happens when I throw my food? What does mommy or daddy do?”
It’s really easy to think that your child is being “bad” or is intentionally doing this to drive you nuts. Try to remember that that isn’t true, even though it seems like it. They are truly just learning different skills….that can become very messy in the process!
So, what should you do when your child throws food? I recommend following a three-step game plan anytime your toddler throws his/her food.
Remain calm. I know this can actually be really difficult at times because it can feel SO triggering. But remember, if you remain calm and give less of a big response, it removes the fun and game of it. Big reactions like “NO!” or “Stop that!” actually make your child want to do it MORE because they like the attention they are getting, even if it is negative attention.
Use “you can” language. In a calm and firm voice, tell your child where the food can go. This helps teach your child what they should be doing, rather than simply being told what they shouldn’t. For example, you can say “You can put food on your tray if you don’t want it” or “Food belongs on the table. Let me show you where it goes. You can do it!” You can also use a “No thank-you” bowl where you place an empty bowl next to their plate where they can put the food they don’t want to eat. Show them how to use it by modeling how to put unwanted food in it. This takes repetition and practice, but over time it does help!
Use the “three strikes” rule. Repeat the first two steps after each episode of food throwing up to three times per meal. After the third time, calmly move the food away from your child and end the meal. You can say “When you throw your food, you are showing me that you are all done. Dinner is over now.” Then, calmly but firmly end the meal. They may be upset and that is okay. Make sure to always tell your child when the next meal will be so they have a heads-up and aren’t left wondering when they will eat again.
The goal here is to quickly help your child learn that food throwing is not part of your mealtime routine : ) With time and consistency, they start to learn that food throwing is not a game and that there is a predictable response each time, which lessens the urge to continue.
So when will food throwing end?
Food throwing generally dissipates around age 2 or 2.5, but there is definitely normal variation in how long it lasts. It is also normal for it to come and go in phases. Remember to stay consistent in your response (using the above steps), which increases the likelihood that it will stop sooner!
If you are struggling with other behaviors during toddler mealtimes (food refusals, tantrums at the table, and more), check out my Comprehensive Routine Guides - these are age-based guides that walk you through exactly how to handle mealtimes at each stage so that you can feel confident and empowered with your toddler.
Tell me - does your toddler still throw their food? Does it drive you absolutely crazy? Comment or below or send me a DM on Instagram!